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Mork grew a lump on the side of her face last week. Thinking it was a tumour I started thinking about what kind of kitten to get. Then it popped and became a horrific, growing, oozing sore.

Time for a trip to the vet.

Verity found this rather exciting and told the vet her life story in an unpunctuated stream of consciousness ("My, you are quite the talker, aren't you"), while the vet poked around.

The prognosis is a double puncture wound - the black cat over the road is the suspect, although I guess it could have been a green mamba - with a stupid collar, regular bathing and a course of antibiotics.

She is also supposed to be under house arrest, but she is pretty determined to get out and dismantled the cat flap yesterday in a successful bid. She only isn't allowed out because she might throttle herself with the collar, so I figure we should let nature run its course and work on that kitten shortlist just in case it ends badly.

Our wedding plans have made no progress at all. We nearly went engagement ring shopping at the weekend, but it was cold and wet so we went for a Starbucks instead.

However, Nelam is getting married in December. Nelam was our lodger for a year and as her kinda adoptive family, we have been signed up for two days of muslim wedding mayhem. Sally will be in full-on Pakistani gear, and for part one of proceedings so will I - something that Elton John would have worn on the cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Not that he was on the cover, but had he been...

Verity is in on the gig too, with a sparkly pink effort.

All of this gear costs a fortune, and we are spending far more on this wedding than we plan to on our own. Indeed, don't be surprised if our gig suddenly gains an asian theme.

Verity was in Pizza Express last week with her friend Lucy. Verity is three and a half, Lucy is three. Innocent angels both and at the perfect age for Santa and Christmas nonsense.

I should add that they were accompanied, although I wouldn't be massively surprised if Verity wandered off to Oxfam on her own and came back with a new second-hand bear.

Now, just to recap those ages - three and a half, and three.

Lucy turned to Verity and said, "Santa isn't real, it's just a man." (This the result of seeing Santa in a shop that morning.)

Verity said, "No, there are two Santas. The other one is real."

An audible 'phew' of relief all round.

Source: based on a recipe by Lotte Duncan on Good Food Bites, but heavily modified by me.

Ingredients:
50g Butter
1 large onion, chopped
900g chicken breasts, part-bones
1 pinch salt and fresh ground black pepper
0.5 tsp ground turmeric
0.5 tsp ground cumin
0.5 tsp ground black pepper
0.5 tsp ground cinnamon
100g dried apricots, chopped
small handful sultanas
1 small preserved lemons, chopped
100g small green olives, stones in
1.5 tbsp Honey
handful of fresh coriander, chopped
50g almonds, blanched
1 dash of Olive oil, for shallow frying
0.5 tbsp Sesame seeds

Method:
1. In a large casserole dish or tagine melt the butter. Fry the onion until softened, around 3-5 minutes, then add in the chicken, salt, freshly ground pepper, turmeric, cumin and cinnamon.

2. Add enough water to cover the chicken.

3. Bring to boil, reduce heat, and simmer for an hour and a half, adding more water if necessary. Remove the chicken pieces with a slotted spoon and keep warm.

4. Add the apricots, sultanas, olives and lemons to the tagine sauce and simmer for about fifteen minutes.

5. Add in the honey, stir and cook until the sauce has a honey-like consistency.

6. When the sauce is almost ready, throw the corriander on top. Then separately fry the almonds in olive oil in a wok or frying pan, stirring often to prevent them burning.

7. Drain most of the olive oil from the pan, add in the sesame seeds and cook gently, stirring, until golden.

8. Return the chicken to the casserole dish and re-heat.

9. Place the chicken in a serving dish, pour over the tagine sauce and top with almonds and sesame seeds. Serve with brown rice or couscous

Verdict:
If I made this again I wouldn't bother with the sesame seeds, but otherwise it worked a treat. Verity declared it 'delicious'

I knew this would get complicated.

The new plan is that there are three separate events. One for the groom, one for the bride and then some mosque action.

In the absence of a reliable family, we are hosting part of the bride's day. Around 100 people will gather in our front room, the groom will sit on a ceremonial chair, then the bride will glide down the grand stair case, sit in the chair next to him and everyone will take pictures.

Then everyone goes off to a hall for a proper knees-up.

If we were playing sardines, we could probably get 100 people in our front room, but any photo shoot is going to require the removal of an external wall. And we don't have a grand stair case. No matter, we will manage it some.

So far we have arranged to borrow a modest marquee, for our modest garden, hire a couple of waitresses and bought lots of pop from Asda - the good thing about muslim weddings is the low drinks bill.

This was all set for next Sunday, but the date is now moving again due to it being an unlucky date.

Meanwhile I have bought my fancy embroidered suit, a tasteful cream and pink affair. Pics to follow.

Source: Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall in the Guardian

Ingredients:
250g unsalted butter, cut into cubes, plus a little more for greasing
250g plain chocolate (about 70% cocoa solids), broken into squares
250g caster sugar
3 eggs
150g self-raising flour (we use wholemeal self-raising)
100g broken walnuts (optional)
250g cooked and peeled beetroot*, grated or puréed

* don't bother with nasty vacuum packs from the supermarket - just top and tail some fresh beetroot, chop into chunks, cover in foil and roast for an hour. I didn't bother peeling mine, I just washed thoroughly before roasting.

Method:
Preheat the oven to 170C/325F/ gas mark 3. Lightly grease a baking tin that's roughly 20cm x 30cm in size and at least 2cm deep. Line the bottom with greaseproof paper and butter the paper, too.

Put the cubed butter and chocolate into a heatproof bowl. Place this on an oven tray lined with a baking sheet, and put in oven to warm up. After a few minutes, remove, stir, then return to the oven to melt completely. (Alternatively, melt the chocolate and butter in the conventional manner, in a bowl held over a pan of barely simmering water.)

In another bowl, whisk the sugar with the eggs until smooth and creamy. Stir in the chocolate mixture until well combined. Sift in the flour, stir, fold in the walnuts (if using) and beetroot. Pour into the prepared tin.

Bake for 20-25 minutes, until a knife or skewer comes out with a few moist crumbs clinging to it - be careful not to overcook the brownies. Remove from the oven, then stand the tray on a wire rack until cool enough to cut into squares.

Verdict:
I was so intrigued when I saw this recipe that I made it the next day. I didn't bother with the walnuts, and pureed the beetroot. This made the mixture quite wet and I ended up baking for 50 minutes, skewering regularly to make sure I didn't overdo it.

The brownies were perfect, and you would never know there was beetroot in them. Sadly it doesn't count as one of my five a day.

We are borrowing a dog for Christmas - Minnie the black Labrador. Her owners are going on holiday and were looking for a cheap billet. She will be with us from 20th to 27th December.

Verity is beside herself with excitement.

On Christmas Day Upton the yellow Labrador will be joining us for a festive wagathon. I don't fancy the chances of the Christmas tree, but at least we won't need to vacuum the kitchen after dinner.

Mork is pissed.

Source: Mark Hix on Market Kitchen

Serves 2-3

Ingredients:
20g Butter
1 small shallot, finely chopped
200g frozen peas
50ml vegetable stock
3-4 mint leaves

Method:
1. Heat two-thirds of the butter in a pan and gently fry the shallot until soft.

2. Add the peas, vegetable stock and mint leaves. Season. Bring to the boil and simmer for 10-12 minutes.

3. Blend with a hand-blender or potato masher to make a course puree, adding a knob of butter.

Verdict:
A nice alternative to mushy peas

Source: Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall in the Guardian

Ingredients:
- 180g self-raising flour (we use wholemeal self-raising, but ordinary self-raising works well, too)
- 180g golden caster sugar, plus 1 tbsp extra for dredging
- 1 tsp baking powder
- Finely grated zest of 1 lemon
- 100g mixed, dried fruit and candied peel (lemon works well here)
- 3 eggs, lightly beaten
- 180g butter, melted and left to cool slightly
- 145g parsnips, or a combination of carrots and parsnips, or just carrots, washed, peeled and grated

Method:
Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/ gas mark 4. Grease and line a 900g loaf tin. Whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, lemon zest and dried fruit. Stir in the eggs and butter, then gently fold in the grated veg.

Spoon the mixture into the loaf tin, smooth the top with a spatula and bake for about 50 minutes, until risen and golden, and a skewer comes out clean. Sprinkle a tablespoon of caster sugar over the top. Leave to cool in its tin for 10 minutes, then turn out on to a cooling rack.

Verdict:
Fantastic with a cup of tea.