flanerie.org

I have been trying to sell my car this week, via an advert in Autotrader. Yes, my beloved Mini is moving on to a new life, having already been replaced by a nice sensible Audi estate.

The Audi has room for Verity and her travelling circus of detritus and is also comfy and quiet. Given that I am now driving 800 miles a week, comfort is essential.

So, the Mini for sale.

I have had a dozen phone calls, all of them from companies offering to sell my car for no fee. I allowed to first one to send me details of their service, which costs £90. So, erm, no fee then.

All of the calls were from similar numbers and with similar call centre background noise, but each one had a slightly different name.

The next call I politely declined.

The new few I gave very short shrift to.

Then I started getting annoyed:

"We have buyers already interested in your car"

"So tell them to read Autotrader and fuck off"

Click

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"We can sell your car for you"

"I'm kinda busy right now. Give me your personal phone number and I will call you this evening"

"We can't give out personal numbers"

"You don't seem to have any problems calling mine, now piss off"

Click

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"We offer a service matching buyers and sellers"

"What was your name again"

"David"

(camped up) "Hi David, you sound hot, could we meet later?"

Click

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"There is no fee for our service"

"Tell me what you are wearing Karen, starting with your underwear"

Click

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and after those last two the calls stopped.