December 2006 Entries

December 28, 2006

Keep off dem hookers

SEOUL: The South Korean government is handing out gifts for office workers who promise not to visit brothels this holiday season.

"If you promise yourself to make it a healthy night out at the end of the year, and if you recommend this to others, we are giving lots of prizes," the Ministry of Gender Equality said in an Internet posting.

The ministry is offering to pay companies whose employees pledge not to buy sex after what are typically alcohol-soaked, year-end parties.

A ministry spokesman confirmed the campaign but declined to answer questions about it.

But a ministry official told the Korea Times daily: "Korean corporate culture that includes heavy drinking is also what makes buying sex acceptable as a way for male-bonding, which is proving to be a hard-to-break ritual."

The ministry is offering movie tickets based on the number of employees who pledge not to visit prostitutes as well as a cash prize of 1 million won ($1077) for the company which enlists the most employees in the campaign.

Many South Koreans were bewildered by the plan, saying it was a waste of money and gave the impression that South Korean men cannot keep away from brothels.

"Do they really think men buy sex every time they have a dinner party?" wrote one Korean on a comment page of the South Korea's largest daily Chosun Ilbo.
[from stuff.co.nz]
----

A tragic story all round, with a supposed predilection for hookers amongst partying office workers balanced by the govt's reliance on promises. It does also seem somewhat stacked in the favour of big companies.

Anyway, the staff at flanerie.org have all signed up to a hooker-free end of year.

Posted by Gerald at 10:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 26, 2006

Spoilt? Not me!

This is Verity, managing to look very unexcited at the mountain of presents surrounding Fiona.

That was on the 23rd. By Christmas Day she had flu and spent most of the day sleeping. During lucid periods she did a pretty good job of unwrapping and, as is typical, enjoyed the unwrapping much more than the contents.

Posted by Gerald at 12:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 21, 2006

Time for a quick grope?

NEW YORK: Can't resist a quick shake and peep at that present under the Christmas tree? You're not alone, with a US survey finding one in five adults are present peekers.

The survey of 2,287 US adults by research firm Harris Interactive found the main culprits tend to be women, with 21 per cent unable to resist the temptation for a sneaky peep compared to 15 per cent of men.

The younger 18 to 34 crowd also have less self-control than the 35-plus crowd, with 32 per cent taking a sneaky look compared to 12 per cent, according to the survey that was conducted on behalf of Yahoo! Shopping.

Gift wrapping expert Christine Fritsch, author of the book "Gifted Wrapping", suggested hiding present for children up high and trying to disguise adult's presents.

For example put an electronics box on the outside of a non-electronics gift to throw off expert peekers.

"If you put a smaller box within a bigger box, you can curb a lot of peeking," she said.

She also suggested wrapping the present as soon as you get home and leaving off the gift tag until the last minute.

And don't use a gift bag.

"That's just way too easy to peek," she said.

---

Alternatively, be so disorganised that you don't get around to wrapping anything until Christmas morning. At least I have managed to buy some presents though, which is an improvement on previous years.

Posted by Gerald at 3:07 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 20, 2006

Heather Mills' Pussy

Posted by Gerald at 8:00 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 17, 2006

The Sprouts of Wrath

A man has failed to set a new world record for eating Brussel sprouts.

Richard Townsend, 24, of Exeter, hoped to eat as many sprouts as he could in a minute.

He fell seven short of the target of 43, which was set in December 2003 by Dave Mynard from London.

Mr Townsend, who had eaten a plate of sprouts every day for the last six months as training, said he just "lost it".

According to the BBC he said: "I do not think I could face another sprout for a few days."

He had peeled then cooked the sprouts for four minutes in order to ensure they were exactly one inch in diameter.

But the record set by Dave Mynard, from London, still stands. Mr Townsend's bid raised £250 for charity.
[from ananova]

Posted by Gerald at 8:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 15, 2006

Fjuck me, its Fjuckby!

Residents of the Swedish village of Fjuckby are campaigning for their community to be given a new name.

They complain globalisation has led to rude English-language associations making them an international laughing stock.

But they are also embarrassed that the Swedish word 'juck' means the same thing, reports The Local.

"There should not be any doubt at all that, as a result of relatively new associations, the pronunciation and spelling of the place name 'Fjuckby', today arouses ridicule, teasing and hilarity in the general public," wrote inhabitant Katriina Flensburg on behalf of her fellow villagers.

"This regrettable fact engenders feelings of weariness, embarrassment and conditioned shame among villagers, who are often forced against their will to take a tiresome 'defensive stance' with regard to the name of their home town."

The villagers add that the name Fjuckby makes it difficult to sell property or run a successful business, and call for an immediate name change.

The delegation requests that the name Fjukeby be reinstated. Until as late as the 1930s this was the accepted spelling .

The Local speculates that if Fjuckby gets its way, similar campaigns may be launched in Anusviken, Arslet and Dicken.
[from ananova]

Posted by Gerald at 1:13 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 13, 2006

Get me to New York

NEW YORK: By day Sandra Martinez works at a New York law firm, but by night she throws off her conservative image and becomes "Sandra Claws" – an amateur female Jell-O wrestler.

At a grungy live music bar on New York's Lower East Side, she joined 11 other women to do battle – several for the first time – in a blue, blow-up kiddie pool decorated with orange fish and filled with warm, clear clumps of an unflavoured version of the gelatin dessert.

"It (lets us do) things we probably want to do to women sometimes that we dislike, but we have a forum where we can express it in a fun and safe way," said Martinez, a 27-year-old business development specialist.

Her competitors, with day jobs including nanny and marketing manager, introduce each other by stage names – Tinsel the Bohemian Christmas Fairy, Parcel of Power, Chocolate Thunder and Backhand Betty.

"The show is done for the girls, put together by girls, as something that's a fun, friendly competition," said Dana Sterling, 31, who has organised the "Amateur Female Jello Wrestling" competition once a month for the last three years.

"It's really hard to explain to my mother," said Sterling, who by day works as a lighting designer. "It really is a sport, it's a satire sport."

Wearing a glittering gold swimsuit, black satin ruffle skirt and white curly wig, Herricane – who by day is 33-year-old marketing manager Mickie King – takes to the stage punching the air, shouting: "I'm ready, I have got wind, I'm ready."

The crowd gathers around the pool, which sits on top of four old mattresses roped together. Jell-O flecks the audience as the fighters roll around, attempting to pin each other to the ground for three seconds.

Several competing women said the concept of female Jell-O wrestling conjured an image of sleazy men watching naked women roll around, but that Sterling's event was far from that.

"We work hard to promote it as a feminist thing and the night is really like a community night in that it is really what the women make of it," said Annie Rock, 26, one of the organisers.

"It's definitely aggression release. It's sexy as well, throwing women around in Jell-O," King said.

To get male fans into what she called the "silly" mood of the evening, Sterling gets a few men up on stage for a hoola hoop competition. She also skews the door price so that women pay $US3 entry, men accompanied by women pay $US7 ($NZ10.30) and men on their own pay $US15.
[snarfed from stuff.co.nz]

Posted by Gerald at 8:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 10, 2006

Xmas dinner guests - on DVD

A Dutch art company has produced a DVD so lonely people don't have to eat Christmas dinner alone.

The DVD features dining companions eating, drinking and making conversation, reports Nu.nl.

It features six different actors reading different scripts so people can pick their choice of company.

The producers, the Tilburgs CowBoys and Theater NWE Vorst, said they hoped it would ease the loneliness of single people without families at Christmas.

Chris Gribling, one of the producers, said: "The client can watch the DVD while sitting and eating in front of the television.

"The actors can offer him or her a romantic evening or even a good discussion. We have a good variety in the choice of our table companions."
[found on ananova]
---

And do the 'guests' fall asleep after dinner, outstay their welcome and bring shite presents?

Posted by Gerald at 9:21 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 7, 2006

Meet Fiona

There is a village near my home called Christmas Common. There are two special things about Christmas Common: firstly, it is where Red Kites were reintroduced in the UK; secondly, there is a farm on the edge of the village that grows and sells Christmas trees.

What better place to buy a Christmas tree? I couldn't think of one anyway, so we paid a visit last weekend and 15 seconds into a tour of the tree barn, we found this gorgeous tree. She is called Fiona. I love her for her bushiness and her well-rounded arse, making her the antithesis of my general taste in women.

She has since been (tastefully?) dressed and will hopefully provide a welcome sight for Santie when climbs through the window to delivery my Nintendo Wii.

The cat is treating Fiona with extreme caution, sitting in front of her and staring for minutes at a time. Possibly the cat has developed a tree-based religion, but more likely is planning a daring assault on the summit. Cats do that sort of thing, they are deviants.

Posted by Gerald at 7:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 5, 2006

Fish news

An angler has broken his own record for landing the world's heaviest carp - with the same fish he caught last time.

Gary Hagues, 34, hooked the 87lb 2oz fish while on a holiday he won for catching it last time, reports the Sun.

Derbyshire golf professional Gary battled for 30 minutes to land the carp at Rainbow Lakes in Bordeaux, France.

The fish had grown - it weighed 83lb 8oz the first time he caught it.

Gary said: "It was as strong-willed as it was the year before. Maybe it will get even bigger."

Experts said setting a new record twice with the same fish was a million-to-one chance.

---

Experts? Experts in what? I reckon if you fish in the same lake the chances of catching the same fish, and it being a bit heavier, aren't quite so remote.

More to the point, winning a holiday for catching a record fish, and the holiday being to the same place, seems a bit of a bum deal. Unless your idea of a quality holiday involves freezing your knackers off while chain-smoking and reading Razzle. In which case, start packing your waders.

Posted by Gerald at 8:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 1, 2006

Submachine 3 walkthrough solution

Welcome to my walkthrough solution for Submachine 3: The Loop

Also see my other Submachine walkthroughs:
Submachine Adventure
Submachine Extended Version
Submachine 2: The Lighthouse
Submachine Zero: Ancient Adventure
Submachine 4: The Lab

And a bunch of other games and walkthroughs are at: http://flanerie.org/games

If you find my walkthroughs useful, please click on a few of my Google ads. Thanks!

This game is different from the four other Submachine games in that it is a series of stand-alone puzzles, rather than a sequential game.

When you start the game you are in a room with a fancy handle on the wall. There are doors left and right and ladders up and down but you can't go anywhere. Instead pick up the thing on the floor, which becomes a status display top left and the handle moves to uncover a switch.

Press the switch to move on to level 1. As it loads you will be given a level code so that you can start at a certain level rather than have to start at the beginning. I have listed all of the codes at the end of the walkthrough.

Level 1
The status display shows (0 / 0) and this is the room number. Take the ladder down and it becomes (0 / -1). Go right and it is (1,-1), head up and you are in (1 / 0). If you went left from here you would be back where you started, but stay here as there is a sign on the wall. The sign is a map that shows you which rooms on this level have something in. The X on the map indicates room (0 / 0) and the map is always in room (1 / 0)

On this level six rooms are marked. If you go to them you will discover a handle in each. Click the handle to turn it and one of the small red lights on the status display turns green. Do it for all six and big red light turns green.

Return to room (0 / 0) and the light in the centre of the handle, the exit button, will have turned green. Press it to go to level 2.

Level 2
Head right to the map and you will see a five by five block of rooms. In all 25 rooms there is small display. Click on one and a two digit number will appear. That number is where you need to go next - if the number is 32, go to room (3 / 2) and click on the display there and one of the small red status lights will turn green. No go to the room number on this display. Rinse and repeat until you have six green status lights. The exit will now be activated. On to...

Level 3
Go to the map - there are 3 rooms in a row above the room (0 / 0) and another 3 in a row below, effectively forming a square.

The centre room of each row of three contains a handle and the four corner rooms contain a four digit display with a red light in the middle. In each case, three of the digits can be changed with up/down buttons, while the fourth is fixed. The fixed digit relates to the room you are in, so in the top left room, it is the top left digit that is fixed and in the bottom right room, the bottom right digit is fixed.

To turn the lights red, you need to set each four digit display to match the fixed digits. So if the top left room has a top left fixed digit of 5, you need all four displays to have a top left digit of 5. Repeat with all four fixed digits so that you end of with all four displays showing the same four digit code. This will turn the lights green and activate the two handles that are above and below the home room. Turning the two handles activates the exit switch.

Level 4
Six rooms are marked on the map and each contains a dial with a red light beneath it. Above the dial is number of circles, ranging from one to six. None of the dials can be turned except the one with only one circle above it. Turn that and dial with two circles will become active, so go find it and turn it. Rinse and repeat until you have turned all six dials, and the exit will be activated.

Level 5
Six rooms are marked on the map and each contains two letters (initially A and A) with up/down buttons and a red light. Turn the lights green by making the letters equivalent to the room number - so room (3 / 2) should have letters C / A. Do that will all six rooms to activate the exit.

Level 6
Seven rooms are marked, with (-1,0) containing a panel of six symbols. Each of the other six rooms contains a number and a symbol. Simply change the first symbol to match the one in the room marked 1, the second symbol to the one in the room marked 2, and so on. Do all six, press the button near the floor and you are good to go.

Level 7
The map panel in (1,0) is broken, which is a bit disappointing. Never mind, up in (0 / 1) there is a strange looking object on the floor. To the right in (1 / 1) is a handle that doesn't achieve much right now. Down in (0 / -1) is a switch near the floor and is six consecutive rooms to the right are metal panels with clickable electrical connectors on. On each panel link the vertical connectors to make the top left and bottom lights go green, and link the horizontal connectors to make the bottom left and top right lights go green.

Now, we need some idea what to do with each panel.

Go back to (0 / -1) and press the switch. Now go to (0 / 1) and the strange object turns out to be a projector and a pattern has appears on the wall. It shows six squares which represents the six electrical panels. Each square has a diagonal line in it. If the light goes top left to bottom right, you need make that electrical panel have green lights top left and bottom right. And vice versa of course.

Get the six electrical panels to match the projected image and the exit will open.

Level 8
The map panel is back in action and indicates four active rooms. In (0 / -1) is a console with a two digit display, up/down button and a vertical switch. The other three rooms contain an egg-shaped thing on the wall with a red light in the centre.

Use the console to dial up a room number then press the vertical switch. This will open the egg in the chosen room, revealing two vertical switches. Plunge both to turn the light green and also turn two lights green on the status panel. Repeat for the other two eggs to complete the level.

Level 9
Again the map panel has been trashed, but that's okay - the only rooms that matter are (0 / 1) and (0 / -1).

In (0 / 1) is a row of six letters with buttons beneath them. Only the buttons under the 3rd, 5th and 6th letters are functional and there make the letters change, cycling through the letters G, Y, W, B, R, O, P

In (0 / -1) in a row of six coloured lights with buttons beneath them. Only the 1st, 2nd and 4th buttons work and the cycle the lights through Green, Yellow, White, Black, Red, Orange, Purple.

The trick is to marry up the two rooms. Change the 3rd, 5th and 6th letters to match the colour of the equivalent lights (G = Green, etc) and change the 1st, 2nd and 4th lights to match the equivalent letters (Orange = O, etc).

All done? Press the big button in (0 / -1) and head for the exit.

Level 10
The map panel is back, indicating six rooms, but if you go look at the rooms, they are empty. Strange.

However, in (-1 / 0) is another map panel, this time blank, and you can click on it to mark it with spots.

Simply get this panel looking the same of the normal panel in (1 / 0) and then turn the handle that is at (0 / -1) and the exit will be clear.

Level 11
Ooh, there is a letter tacked to the wall. The letter effectively says, 'quit goofing around down here and take a green leaf to (-12 / 9).

There are two choices here:

Firstly, you can do what the letter says. The leaf is in room (1 / 1). If you take it to (-12 / 9) and places it on the doohickey the game will effectively come to an end with some nice animation and a hint at the next instalment.

Secondly, you can complete the puzzle on this level. The active rooms are three in a row above (0 / 0) and three in a row below. In each of the two centre rooms is a formula like RGW = 556 (the numbers change each time); in the two top corner rooms are vertical colour bars with buttons to adjust the height; in the two bottom corner rooms are handles.

The formula tells you how high each colour bar should be. A full bar is six units high. Click the lower button six times and the bar will disappear completely. Press the upper button twice and you are at a height of two. So with RGW = 556 you want the Red bar to be 5 clicks high and the White bar to be six high (ie completely full)

Set both sets of colour bars according to the formulas and the handles will turn to open the exit.

And when you press the exit button...

Passwords (which only seem to work in lower case):
Level 1: LINKVA
Level 2: BAMITA
Level 3: FIROGA
Level 4: WINDA
Level 5: BANDA
Level 6: MJOLMA
Level 7: FLINTA
Level 8: SLITTA
Level 9: ANELKA
Level 10: BOTWINKA
Level 11: SYNTAGMA

Please link back here if you found it useful and give me a few ad clicks. Thanks!

My other submachine walkthroughs are:
Submachine Adventure
Submachine Extended Version
Submachine 2: The Lighthouse
Submachine Zero: Ancient Adventure
Other similiar games and walkthroughs can be found at http://flanerie.org/games

Posted by Gerald at 9:59 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

Pig fuckers

COPENHAGEN: Denmark's Council for Animal Ethics has said there is no need to ban sex with animals unless it takes place in pornographic films or sex shows.

Only one of the 10 members of the council, set up by the Danish Justice Ministry to establish and uphold animal ethics, wants bestiality expressly forbidden.

The others said current laws provided enough animal protection, according to Danish news agency Ritzau.

A senior member of the right wing Danish People's Party was shocked by the recommendation and said the subject should be put to a referendum.

"Then there wouldn't be any doubt about the result," Christian Hansen said. A Justice Ministry spokesman was not available for comment.

Posted by Gerald at 8:52 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack