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Germans

The British have an issue with Germans, or at least they think they do.

It is all founded on an inferiority complex. The British and Germans are very alike - for a start both have Germans as head of state and both have appalling cuisine. But the Germans have always been more successful and this sticks in the craw a little.

In order to feel good about themselves, the British insult the Germans and go on (and on and on) about winning the World Cup in 1966. The Germans don't worry about 1966 because they have won the World Cup a few times since while Britain focused on creating yob culture and chavs. In football terms England is supposedly Germany's biggest 'enemy', although the history of Germany vs Holland puts paid to that falsity, and Germany vs Turkey is always far more than a simple game of football.

Alongside comments about 'German efficiency', as if it is a bad thing, the typical gibe about the Germans is that they lack a sense of humour. This isn't true, not even remotely true, but inferiority complexes never let the truth get in the way of a good whine.

The Guardian newspaper explored this phenomenon in an article today, and it is worth a read if you have the time. It ends with a few jokes submitted by Germans. I am not sure whether they illustrate my point or refute it...

Andrea Foss, 46, Schleswig Holstein

"What is romantic?" "I don't know." "When a man strokes a woman tenderly with a feather."

"What is perverse?" "I don't know." "When the chicken is still attached."

Tabea Rudolph, 26, Stuttgart

There are problems in the woods. The animals of the forest are always drunk, so the fox decides to ban alcohol. The following day, the fox spies a rabbit hanging out of a tree, clearly wasted. The fox ticks him off, and carries on his way. But the next day he sees the rabbit drunk again, and gives him a final warning. The next day, the fox does his rounds and there's no sign of the rabbit, but he notices a straw sticking out of a stream. Wondering what it is, the fox scoops it out, only to find a very drunk rabbit on the other end of it. "How many times do I have to tell you that animals of the forest aren't allowed alcohol?" says the Fox. "We fishes don't give a toss what the animals of the forest aren't allowed to do," says the rabbit

Gerhard Bischof, Bad Toelz, 57

A man jumps out of a plane for the first time. At 3,000m he tries to undo his parachute, but the cord fails. At 2,000m he tries to open the emergency chute but that doesn't work either. At 1,000m he bumps into a man wearing blue overalls, carrying a spanner. "Can you repair parachutes?" asks the first man. "'Fraid not," says the other. "I only do boilers."

Wolfgang Voges, 56, from lower Saxon

Three priests hold a meeting to discuss where life begins. The evangelical priest says, "No question about it, life begins when the child is born." "No, no," says the Catholic priest, "it all starts when the sperm meets the egg." "You're both wrong," says the Rabbi. "Life begins when the children have left home and the dog is dead."

Comments (2)

Hey don't tar everyone that comes from that rock with the same brush. The Scots mostly want a German victory whenever they play England. although here in NL I usually have to do that quietly ;) The English '2 World Wars & 1 World Cup' attitude has high cringe factor amonst us, so don't worry, the Scots largly have no beef with the Germans, apart from Berti Vogts perhaps...

I'd like to add another rival of Germany's that has more relevance to soccer purists: Italy. The main reason? They are Europe's most successful soccer nations. That's always a good thing. Interesting post.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on May 23, 2006 8:41 PM.

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