The doctor shook his head while sucking in his breath, then led me to an examination table and placed my head in a large vice. He then produced a Black & Decker cordless drill, fitted a number 8 bit and drilled into my ear.
After mopping up the blood he took a close look inside with a torch and said, 'aha!'. He then got a wire coat hanger, unwound it, and poked inside my head with it until he latched into something and then, using his knee to brace himself, yanked it out.
An old bicycle wheel! Who would have thought it?
Okay, I made that up, but I had you convinced well into the first sentence.
It was wax on my eardrum, and my attempts to shift it in the past few weeks with eardrops have just been moving it around like a deckchair. I am booked in for a flushing out on Friday.
My doctor is cool - he actually reads the notes. When I said I had an ear problem he said 'ah, we need to fix that, you are flying to South Africa on Monday'. Top banana.
Comments (4)
Yep - a girl I used to know flew back from the US with me and had a bad cold - it made her about 70% deaf for a couple of months.
Posted by Jonathan | April 19, 2006 10:39 PM
Posted on April 19, 2006 22:39
Top banana. Who says that?
Posted by Lauren | April 20, 2006 12:34 AM
Posted on April 20, 2006 00:34
I hope you have a good flushing out.
Posted by Callisto | April 20, 2006 1:20 PM
Posted on April 20, 2006 13:20
Worth every bit of the £250,000 he earns then.
Posted by Paul Morriss | April 20, 2006 1:41 PM
Posted on April 20, 2006 13:41