flanerie.org

Shopping is apparently one of the UK's biggest leisure activities. It doesn't seem very leisurely to me, nor pleasurely.

I went to Oxford today to get a few bits and pieces. The place was rammed and no doubt will get even busier in the next few weeks. And it will be Christmas soon too. I think it's time the authorities looked into moving Christmas to a time of year when the shops aren't so busy.

In a move that can only be considered genius, shops add extra shelving and display stands at a time when there are more people. More people + less space = fucking annoying.

I was in Marks & Spencers today and entered a maze-like section looking for undershirts and actually got lost. I spent 10 minutes looking for a way out and eventually resorted to calling the shop on my mobile, "Help! I am trapped in socks."

The customers hardly help matters - this is a time of year when shoppers need to be efficient. Find something, buy it, get the fuck out. I witnessed two middle aged women looking at a nasty overpriced male gift set (they actually looked like mother and daughter, but this was because the 'elder' one's body had completed given up while the 'younger' one was just about holding it together and had judiciously applied a bit of slap.) Anyway, one said to the other 'I would never buy something like that', and the other replied 'no, me neither' and then they carried on looking at it.

And then there is the other type, who receive an email out of the blue from an old school friend. They agree to meet up for a good long chat, and decide that an aisle in Marks & Spencers in mid-November is simply the perfect place to spend two hours talking.

There should be on-the-spot fines for this sort of behaviour.

Apart from that, today was a good day.